Getting your "want to"
This morning as I was preparing for the day, so many thoughts were flooding my mind and little by little I felt that little grip inside getting tighter. It's crazy how just thoughts can lead to that lack of peace. I'm still trying to heal and my pain is a bit better but still keeps me from being on my feet as much as usual. Because of that, I'm still spending a lot of time on the couch. I surprisingly have more than enough to keep me busy even with that. Studying for the board re- certification is a huge task. As PAs we take these every 6 years and they come up faster than I care for! As I was reading in my devotional, which to me is a non-negotiable nowadays, I had that fleeting thought that I should cut it short because of all I need to study today. But I already knew from past experience that would not benefit me at all. There were times in the past that I would let that battle in my head go on for a while, but now it has gotten easier to know immediately what to do. I think that is one of the beautiful things about spending more time with God. When I first made it a priority a few years ago (rather than saying "oh, I'll do it later"--later never came!) it required a lot of diligent effort. Through that time, the Spirit worked it into me how important and life-changing that time with God is. When you don't have the "want to" you can pray that He will give you the "want to" and start doing your part and little by little the "want to" is there! I felt immediately after closing the Bible this morning, God speaking to my heart saying, I will help you get done what needs to get done. Trust me to get you there. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The peace returned and on with my day!