Wait! What?

As I was paging through my Bible to find the references that I was planning to write about, I found the dates of when I was still in limbo about my need for another surgery and trying to find a surgeon. I am so blown away by how God works. Here is what I found in my Bible. I looked back at my calendar and the sequence of time. I saw a doctor October 5, 2016, who told me I needed another major surgery but he wasn’t willing to do the work because of the complication level. I left that visit very distraught. For the remainder of that week, I felt like I’d slid into a pit. I couldn’t read the Bible and my prayers were so basic. Lord, what? What do I do? I thought this surgery business was behind me now. I thought I could get on with my life. What?? Here is from 10/22/2016 in my Bible, with a note “no surgeon yet” and the following underlined: But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Psalm 55:16-18 During that time, I was doing a Bible study on my own on Breaking Free and also doing Brain Detox. I had no answers but I knew God was going to do something. During the time of waiting, let me say that again but louder DURING THE TIME OF WAITING, this is what I noted in my Bible: 11/24/2016 note says “Freedom” My salvation and my honor depend on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. …..though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them…..You, O God, are strong, and You, O Lord, are loving –from Psalm 62 And then I continued to pan through and found this 11/24/2016 note that says “Freedom” (still, I was waiting) Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. …..Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men….Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains…..they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains—from Psalm 107 It was DURING THE WAITING for answers and relief that I experienced Freedom. Freedom from many things that bogged me down. I had been walking in His path and reading His Word and devoting my early mornings to time with Him for some years already, but it was DURING THE WAITING that I became free. That seems to go against all that we think makes sense, doesn’t it? Don’t we just always think once we have the answer that we will feel free? We search and search sometimes and feel unsettled and yet, for me, I found freedom BEFORE I had an answer. January was when I had my miracle in Tennessee and finally got to see the answer to the surgeon question. However, it was from October to January that I got freedom from the OTHER things that were really the issue. Feelings of unworthiness, Feelings of regret, Feelings of the past haunting me. The Lord brought me freedom during an uncertain time in my life. Do not underestimate the power of the WAITING. Press into HIM. Press into HIS WORD. He is going to do more than you could imagine. Trust Him! jennie